Love Is More Than Affection — It’s Connection
Intimacy Happens Where We Are Known
A Question That Redefines Love
The disciple said, “Rabbi, I love you.”
The rabbi replied,
“Do you know what hurts me?”
Not to shame him.
Not to confuse him.
But to reveal a deeper truth:
Affection feels good.
Connection changes you.
Love that never learns where someone hurts
remains shallow, fragile, and easily shaken.
Because intimacy—
in-to-me-you-see—
doesn’t happen by accident.
It happens by revelation.
The Risk Every Relationship Must Take
We long to be understood, yet we hide the parts of us that would actually let someone understand us.
We want closeness,
but we fear exposure.
We want connection,
but we avoid vulnerability.
Healthy, abiding relationships grow only where both hearts can say:
“Here is where I ache. Can you hold this with care?”
Not fix it.
Not diagnose it.
Not judge it.
Just hold it.
Affection draws us close; vulnerability keeps us close.
Jesus Shows Us How to Be Known
Jesus didn’t armor up emotionally.
He wept.
He admitted sorrow.
He voiced His loneliness.
He let His friends see Him… truly see Him…
even when they didn’t always know how to hold what He shared.
He chose transparency over self-protection.
Not because people were perfect,
but because love requires access.
Connection requires trust, and trust requires truth.
Love Needs More Than Warm Feelings
Love that never discovers what hurts
never discovers what heals.
Love that never learns the wound
never learns how to walk gently.
And love that stays on the surface
never grows roots deep enough
to weather storms.
Relationships thrive where honesty is honored and tenderness is practiced.
Because real love doesn’t simply say, “I love you.”
Real love says, “I know what hurts you—and I’m not going anywhere.”
Reflection
Where have I settled for affection instead of true connection?
What part of my heart have I hidden that needs to be known?
What would it look like to let someone trustworthy see where I hurt?
Prayer