What Defines You, Rules You
Living From Love, Not Circumstances
I’m amazed at how easily I once allowed people—and circumstances—to define me.
Not just
how I felt…
but who I was.
And how I was doing.
If a relationship felt strained,
I assumed I was failing.
If someone pulled away,
something must be wrong with me.
If life became difficult,
God must be distant.
That’s not discernment.
That’s misplaced dependence.
Friction Is Not Failure
Simply by living, we will experience relational friction and difficult seasons.
Always.
This is an imperfect world,
filled with imperfect people—
including us.
But we were never meant to measure our worth
by another person’s ability—or inability—to love us.
And we were never meant to assess God’s nearness
by the ease of our circumstances.
Where someone else is—
especially in their understanding of whose they are—
does not get to define where you are
or how you are doing.
That’s not wisdom.
That’s a worth issue.
What Love Reveals (and What It Doesn’t)
Here’s a freeing truth:
If someone is unable to love you,
it reveals their limitation—
not your worth.
Your value was never sourced
in their affirmation.
Your identity was never dependent
on their availability.
You are already perfectly loved
by the One who gave His life for you.
There is no greater value
anyone else could add—
and no value they could remove.
When Circumstances Become Interpreters
Most of us carry quiet assumptions about how life should work.
If things go smoothly,
God must be pleased.
If things fall apart,
God must be absent.
But Scripture tells a different story.
Jesus said the rain falls
on the just and the unjust.
And He said the world would recognize His followers
not by their circumstances,
but by their love.
You cannot tell the difference
between believers and unbelievers
by comfort, success, or ease.
If circumstances dictate how we’re doing,
they’ve taken a place
they were never meant to occupy.
Hard Seasons Reveal—They Don’t Remove
Romans 5 and James 1 don’t tell us to escape difficulty.
They invite us to see differently.
Pressure doesn’t prove God is gone.
It reveals what we’re trusting.
The hard things of life
are not meant to diminish us—
they are meant to reveal
Christ in us.
Often, the darker the backdrop,
the more clearly Love can be seen.
A Better Anchor
People will disappoint.
Circumstances will fluctuate.
Life will not cooperate.
But you remain held—secure in God’s love.
Your “how I’m doing”
was never meant to be measured by outcomes.
Your peace
was never meant to be sourced in approval.
Your identity
was never meant to be negotiated by circumstances.
If people or outcomes define you,
they will rule you.
If Abba’s love defines you, you are free.
Reflection
What people or circumstances most influence how you measure your worth right now?
When life feels hard, what story do you tend to tell yourself about God?
What might shift if you rested today in the truth that you are already held—secure in His love?
Prayer
Abba Father, thank You that I am already held, already loved, already secure in You. Teach me to live from Your love, not from conditions or outcomes. Amen.