When Unforgiveness Handcuffs Your Heart
And the Key That Sets You Free
The Picture
I once saw a vision that looked like the opening scene of a Wild West story.
A bounty hunter.
A captured outlaw.
Two horses.
And a set of handcuffs joined by a chain, linking the captor to the captive.
At first, it looked heroic—
justice riding across the desert.
But the longer I watched, the clearer it became:
The bounty hunter was just as bound as the man he arrested.
Same restraint.
Same limitation.
Same miles.
Same exhaustion.
And in the middle of that dusty scene, I heard:
“Unforgiveness is like being handcuffed to your offender. You drag them everywhere—until you realize you’re just as stuck as they are.
Release them. Release yourself.”
The Truth
We don’t always notice the moment the handcuffs click.
A wound.
A word.
A betrayal we still rehearse.
And suddenly, without meaning to,
we are chained to what hurt us.
Scripture’s words for forgiveness reveal a better way.
In Hebrew, 'nasa', the word for forgiveness means to lift off a burden,
as if God reaches into the soul and removes what weighs us down
(Psalm 32:1).
In Greek, the word for forgiveness, aphiēmi, means to release, to let go, to send away, the exact opposite of dragging someone behind you (Matthew 6:12).
Forgiveness isn’t pretending the pain didn’t happen.
Forgiveness is breaking the chain that keeps the pain in control.
Chains Fall in the Presence of Love
When Jesus faced the woman caught in adultery,
He refused to handcuff Himself to her accusers’ narrative.
He looked her in the eyes and said,
“Neither do I condemn you” (John 8:11).
The only One with the right to hold her captive
set her free instead.
He didn’t release her because she deserved it.
He released her because love frees.
Love lifts.
Love lets go.
Love breaks chains.
And here’s the revelation:
You cannot stay chained to the hurt and walk into healing.
You cannot be handcuffed to the past and step into freedom.
You cannot drag someone behind you and call it forward motion.
Forgiveness isn’t weakness—it’s the doorway back into your own life.
It’s the moment you stop dragging the past and start walking in freedom to fulfill God's purpose in your life--love.
The Invitation
Where have you been doing the emotional equivalent of hauling an outlaw across the desert?
Where has your heart been chained to a moment, a memory,
or a person who no longer has authority over your story?
The key has always been in your pocket.
Release them.
Release yourself.
Walk free.