Forgiveness Does Not Call Wrong Right
Facing What Happened So Freedom Can Come
“The apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith!’” Luke 17:5
The Question
I was in a meeting once where forgiveness was being discussed, and a young woman asked a question many of us understand.
“But if I forgive them, won’t I be saying what they did was okay?”
My answer was simple.
No. If what they did was okay, you wouldn’t need to forgive them.
Forgiveness does not validate wrongdoing.
It does not pretend harm was harmless, and it does not call something good that was not good.
Forgiveness begins by telling the truth.
When Forgiveness Gets Whitewashed
There is a kind of forgiveness that only looks like forgiveness for a while.
It minimizes. It explains away. It says, “It wasn’t that bad,” when something inside us knows it was.
But unless we face the fullness of what happened, we may never experience the fullness of freedom forgiveness brings.
Whitewashed forgiveness can look clean until the rains of conflict come again. Then the old wound begins showing through.
Jesus does not invite us to denial.
He invites us to live free — free to love as He loves.
The Chain Has To Be Broken
This is also true when the wrongdoing is ours.
If we minimize our own sin, hide it, or rename it as something smaller, we do not become free. The chain may feel longer, but it is still attached.
Scripture says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us.”
Confession is not groveling.
It is bringing what is true into the light of His love.
It is more than restating what I did as a fact; it is the underlying why.
And forgiveness, in the language of Scripture, carries the sense of release — letting go, sending away, no longer holding the debt in place.
God does not simply make the chain more comfortable.
He breaks what kept us bound.
Why The Disciples Asked For Faith
After Jesus spoke again about forgiving, the disciples said, “Increase our faith.”
That response makes sense because they realized the answer was greater than their personal effort. It must be outside of their ability to do it on their own.
Real forgiveness reaches places we cannot free in our own strength. It takes the life of Christ within us, the love of Abba holding us steady, and the Spirit helping us release what pain keeps trying to protect.
Forgiveness is not saying wrong was right.
It is letting Love break the chain so we can walk free.
And free people can love again.
Reflection
Where have I confused forgiveness with saying something was okay?
What pain have I minimized instead of bringing honestly into the light?
Where do I need God’s love to help me release what I cannot free on my own?
Prayer