When You Forget Who You Are
A Gentle Word for the One Carrying Regret
“I have loved you with an everlasting love.” — Jeremiah 31:3
There is a kind of regret
that doesn’t just revisit a choice—
it unsettles your sense of self.
Not Why did I do that?
But What is wrong with me?
Many people carry this quietly.
Regret for overgiving.
For staying too long.
For trying to keep the peace
at the cost of their own heart.
And when clarity finally comes,
the inner voice turns harsh.
How could I have been so foolish?
I knew better.
Why do I always do this?
That voice may sound honest—
But it isn’t kind. And it isn’t true.
What Was Really Happening
Let’s speak plainly and gently.
You weren’t trying to lose yourself.
You were trying to be loved.
To belong.
To feel safe.
To be accepted without having to prove your worth.
That desire is not a flaw.
It is deeply human.
The problem was never your heart.
It was asking an unsafe situation
to give you what only love can give.
When Shame Tries to Take the Lead
Shame always exaggerates.
It takes a season
and gives it an identity.
It whispers that kindness was weakness,
that hope was naïve,
that discernment can’t be trusted.
But shame is not a reliable guide.
God does not speak to regret with disappointment.
He speaks with tenderness.
“As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those He loves.” — Psalm 103:13
Learning to Be Gentle With Yourself
Healing often begins
not with doing better,
but speaking more kindly.
Would you talk to a dear friend this way?
Then why talk to yourself like this?
You are not behind.
You are not foolish.
You are learning.
And learning always includes missteps.
Remembering What Has Never Changed
Before any choice you regret,
before any season you wish you could rewrite,
this was already true:
You are loved.
You are held.
You are not defined by what you endured.
You are remembering who you are—
and God has never forgotten.
Reflection
Where have I been harder on myself than necessary?
What might change if I spoke to myself with compassion?
What truth about being loved do I need to return to today?
Prayer
Abba Father, help me rest in Your kindness. Quiet the voice that accuses.
Teach me to see myself as You see me—beloved and becoming. Amen.